Life is not a playground, it's a jungle! And, being the parent of a teenager isn't any walk in the park, either. In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, author Sean Covey attempts to provide "a compass to help teens and their parents navigate the problems they encounter daily."
How will they deal with peer pressure? Motivation? Success or lack thereof? The life of a teenager is full of tough issues and life-changing decisions. As a parent, you are responsible to help them learn the principles and ethics that will help them to reach their goals and live a successful life.
While it's all well and good to tell kids how to live their lives, "teens watch what you do more than they listen to what you say," Covey says. So practice what you preach. Your example can be very influential.
Covey himself has done well by following a parent's example. His dad, Stephen Covey, wrote the book The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, which sold over 15 million copies. Sean's a chip off the old block, and no slacker. His own book has rung in a more than respectable 2 million copies sold. Here are his seven habits, and some ideas for helping your teen understand and apply them:
Be Proactive
Being proactive is the key to unlocking the other habits. Help your teen take control and responsibility for her life. Proactive people understand that they are responsible for their own happiness or unhappiness. They don't blame others for their own actions or feelings.
Begin With the End in Mind
If teens aren't clear about where they want to end up in life, about their values, goals, and what they stand for, they will wander, waste time, and be tossed to and fro by the opinions of others. Help your teen create a personal mission statement which will act as a road map and direct and guide his decision-making process.
Put First Things First
This habit helps teens prioritize and manage their time so that they focus on and complete the most important things in their lives. Putting first things first also means learning to overcome fears and being strong during difficult times. It's living life according to what matters most.
Think Win-Win
Teens can learn to foster the belief that it is possible to create an atmosphere of win-win in every relationship. This habit encourages the idea that in any given discussion or situation both parties can arrive at a mutually beneficial solution. Your teen will learn to celebrate the accomplishments of others instead of being threatened by them.
Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Because most people don't listen very well, one of the great frustrations in life is that many don't feel understood. This habit will ensure your teen learns the most important communication skill there is: active listening.
Synergize
Synergy is achieved when two or more people work together to create something better than either could alone. Through this habit, teens learn it doesn't have to be "your way" or "my way" but rather a better way, a higher way. Synergy allows teens to value differences and better appreciate others.
Sharpen the Saw
Teens should never get too busy living to take time to renew themselves. When a teen "sharpens the saw" she is keeping her personal self sharp so that she can better deal with life. It means regularly renewing and strengthening the four key dimensions of life – body, brain, heart, and soul.
7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
Monday, September 13, 2010
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
“The Principle of Sowing & Reaping
Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny."
Samuel Smiles
THE Private VICTORY – Inside First
Habit 1 BE PROACTIVE
I am the force.
Take responsibility for your life.
Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is accepting responsibility for our own behavior (past,
present, and future) and making choices based on principles and values rather than on moods or
circumstances. Proactive people are agents of change and choose not to be victims, to be reactive, or to
blame others. They take an Inside-Outside Approach to creating changes.
Habit 2 BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
Control your own destiny or Someone Else Will
Define your mission and goals in life.
All things are created twice – first mentally, second physically. Individuals, families, teams, and
organizations shape their own future by creating a mental vision and purpose for any project. They don’t
just live day to day without a clear purpose in mind. They mentally identify and commit themselves to the
principles, values, relationships, and purposes that matter most to them.
Habit 3 PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Will and Won’t Power
Prioritize, and do the most important things first.
Putting first things first is the second or physical creation. It is organizing and executing around mental
creation (your purpose, vision, values, and most important priorities.) The main thing is to keep the main
thing the main thing.
THE Public VICTORY – Outside Second
Habit 4 THINK WIN-WIN
The Stuff That Life Is Made Of
Have an everyone-can-win attitude.
Thinking win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect in
all interactions. It’s not about thinking selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win). In our work and
family life, members think interdependently -- in terms of “we,” not “me.” Thinking win-win encourages
conflict resolution and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions. It’s sharing information,
power, recognition, and rewards.
Habit 5 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
You Have Two Ears and one Mouth
Listen to people sincerely
When we listen with the intent to understand others, rather than with the intent to reply, we begin true
communication and relationship building. Seeking to understand takes kindness; seeking to be understood
takes courage. Effectiveness lies in balancing the two.
Habit 6 SYNERGIZE
The “High” Way
Work together to achieve more
Synergy is about producing a third alternative – not my way, not your way, but a third way that is better
than either of us would have come up with individually. Synergistic teams and families thrive on
individual strengths. They go for creative cooperation.
Habit 7 SHARPEN THE SAW
It’s Me Time
Renew yourself regularly
Sharpening the saw is about constantly renewing ourselves in the four basic areas of life: physical,
social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. It’s the habit that increases our capacity to live all the other habits
of effectiveness.
Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny."
Samuel Smiles
THE Private VICTORY – Inside First
Habit 1 BE PROACTIVE
I am the force.
Take responsibility for your life.
Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is accepting responsibility for our own behavior (past,
present, and future) and making choices based on principles and values rather than on moods or
circumstances. Proactive people are agents of change and choose not to be victims, to be reactive, or to
blame others. They take an Inside-Outside Approach to creating changes.
Habit 2 BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
Control your own destiny or Someone Else Will
Define your mission and goals in life.
All things are created twice – first mentally, second physically. Individuals, families, teams, and
organizations shape their own future by creating a mental vision and purpose for any project. They don’t
just live day to day without a clear purpose in mind. They mentally identify and commit themselves to the
principles, values, relationships, and purposes that matter most to them.
Habit 3 PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Will and Won’t Power
Prioritize, and do the most important things first.
Putting first things first is the second or physical creation. It is organizing and executing around mental
creation (your purpose, vision, values, and most important priorities.) The main thing is to keep the main
thing the main thing.
THE Public VICTORY – Outside Second
Habit 4 THINK WIN-WIN
The Stuff That Life Is Made Of
Have an everyone-can-win attitude.
Thinking win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect in
all interactions. It’s not about thinking selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win). In our work and
family life, members think interdependently -- in terms of “we,” not “me.” Thinking win-win encourages
conflict resolution and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions. It’s sharing information,
power, recognition, and rewards.
Habit 5 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
You Have Two Ears and one Mouth
Listen to people sincerely
When we listen with the intent to understand others, rather than with the intent to reply, we begin true
communication and relationship building. Seeking to understand takes kindness; seeking to be understood
takes courage. Effectiveness lies in balancing the two.
Habit 6 SYNERGIZE
The “High” Way
Work together to achieve more
Synergy is about producing a third alternative – not my way, not your way, but a third way that is better
than either of us would have come up with individually. Synergistic teams and families thrive on
individual strengths. They go for creative cooperation.
Habit 7 SHARPEN THE SAW
It’s Me Time
Renew yourself regularly
Sharpening the saw is about constantly renewing ourselves in the four basic areas of life: physical,
social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. It’s the habit that increases our capacity to live all the other habits
of effectiveness.
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